It's a wonder why I don't self-mutilate considering how much I hate myself sometimes. Once again I have proven myself a huge moron. Sigh. Thought after being burnt countless times I would have learned my lesson by now but sadly I just jump from one pit of fire to the next. When the phase "use your heart or head" is used, it actually suggests a choice in the matter like you could go "oh I want to use my head on this one". Hell, if I find the basterd that coined the phase I will bash his head in with a baseball bat. So much for thinking with your head a-hole. How I can possibly give my heart away like a free door gift all the time is something I have yet to figure. Atleast if I were more sluttier I could handle all the stress but no...... I actually believe in each relationship sincerely! Oh what sweet irony! No matter how hard I try to stop myself I actually hold on to the very much obsolete notion that true love exists and that I will find it. The more I think about it, I have the same probability of finding love as the new dragon ball movie being a big hit *rolls eyes*. Everytime I tell myself, this is the last time I will ever go through this feeling again and yet I always prove myself wrong. Do I hear Fergie singing clumsy in the distance? I keep telling myself "Just follow the damn theme of drugs champain and say NO!" but I just end up falling again like a metor and when it crashes everything I know just dies. Guess we know why the dinosaurs went extint. I wanna find Eros and crucify that flying pest by the wings and either cut him slowly or go all texes chainsaw on his sorry ass ( ok so the sudden influx of violence may be due to me reading Hannibal now but death and physical pain are hardly the worst evils to plague this earth). The more I think about it, I should take a bunch of his own arrows and shoot him till he resembles a rag doll. Than he would be more careful of shooting his forsaken arrows like some machine gun ammo in GTA.
Well enough brooding, this livejournal app allows me to "pen" my thoughts whenever I want but I after some thinking I realize that I have much to be thankful for. I am at like the most amazing workplace ever! (eat your heart out Santa!) I thought that army was going to be hell on earth but I have been introduced to all this ppl that are seriously out of this world!
Today I learnt that life's not I thought it to be. It's not suger spice and everything nice. Saw a colleague leave today. Guess wanting everyone to get along is pretty childish but if accepting it means growing up than I want to move to neverland. All I can do is hope everything turns out for the best!
Promised myself I will live with no regrets. Let's see how that works out. Only tomorrow will tell.
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Due to recent events such as the measuring of my BMI, I have been sufficently shocked into doing more physical activities. I just pray that this sudden stoke of self realization lasts more than a week. Routines and me so don't get along so I have to try spicing things up. If I were to just try running it would never work so have tried adding cycling and swimming (so not original I know but not in the mood to invent a new sport). Hope to gets abs in 7-8 months :D Well if that does not work out, atleast I can walk into shops and not have to ask "Hey,do you carry shirts in xs size?" and my shopping options would increase! Plus since I live so near the beach it's imperative that I have a beach going body incase I actually need to go there (which I have been avoiding at all costs)
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1) I take a basic degree in accounting,business or economics in SMU than complete my degree in law after that. Can i take business... do really well in the first year than take law as my double degree from the second year?
2) I take up the offer my principal promised me and do my As again and sit for my SAT at the same time than reapply next year.
Still have the problem of NS to face cus i not sure about the deferment process..... everyone says i did well but i feel so horrible right now... sighs hope the people i talk to about this have good news for me :)
Everyone seems to be determined to go out and enjoy till thursday so that they can forget about the A's i think ( Good luck with that!). Will be trying to set up a facebook account since i would like to avoid the looks of total dismay/amusement/horror that people give me when i tell them i do not have an account there. This is usually followed by the 'Do you even have friendster?!' question to which i once again have to take in a deep breath and reply 'no'. Never really got onto the social networking sites bandwagon cus it seems a total waste of time (Its a personal opinion. Don't flame me). I just believe that good old face-to-face conversation still rules (FYI i am below 20 yrs old) and seeing like 50 of someone's cam-whore pictures is not really going to impress me. Also i get amused when people compare the amount of 'friends' they have cus i doubt half the people there truly give a hoot abut you. However i have decided to give it a shot as there are advantages and i will be in the army soon and would like to keep in contact with what my friends are doing. Hope i don't screw up at the registration (fingers crossed)
Well i have so many things going on in my mind right now that i am having writer's block so if i can get my thoughts organised i might put in another post soon. :D
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